Old Man Tales is basically a copy of Old Man Office (or Old Man School). This site is from the same people that are responsible for Shocking Matures, Like Matures, Mature Scope, and Office Matures. These people sure know how to make the most awkward porn imaginable. If there were an award for that, I’d vote for them. Check out the photos below.
$29.95/month recurring
Visit oldmantales.com then come back and tell us how awful it is!
Old Man School is basically a repeat of Old Man Office. They use the same trick of changing the dates on the content to make it look like they update frequently, and they use the same models in ridiculous scenarios. Except instead of secretaries and bosses it’s students and teachers. You can tell they are in a school because there is a chalk board and they wear a cap and gown costume. (Yeah I rolled my eyes, too) It varies from set to set as to whether the student wears it or the teacher sports the cap and gown which is weird and confusing, but whatever.
The tour has some pretty ridiculous and entertaining text:
So what is her lector is not so young and handsome? She knows young guys and they’re all sooo stupid! And here is DA MAN so smart she even has to ask for permission in French. When she wants to play with his penis. So charming!
Betty will offer anal if she’s promised easier times at tests
Samantha will kiss his penis because she’s enchanted with his recent theory
Jenny will do a handjob after the especially good lection
$29.95/30 days recurring
Visit oldmanschool.com then come back and tell us how awful it is
I can’t decide if this site is hilariously bad or just sad and pathetic. The scenario is exactly the same for every heroine’s story I looked at: girl in spandex costume is attacked by dude in spandex costume, a fight ensues, he gives her a wedgie then violates her a little. Oh and sometimes he rips her spandex costume. Each “episode” is accompanied by a story that is written at about a 6th grade level:
“Nnnnn…what…what happened? W…w-where am I? …oooohh…my…my….nnnhhh….hurts….”
She awoke, unaware of what had happened, where she was, why she was half naked. She was beaten so badly the only evidence she had of her brutal violation was the terrible raw aching pain in her womanhood. Darkshade had seemingly taken what he wanted and left.
The quality is terrible. Most of it was done in spandex dude’s garage or basement and it is obvious. Then there is the horrible photoshopping of some of the pics……
If this site were 5 bucks a month I might think hey, it might suck, but at least it’s not a total rip off since they still seem to update. But, the price is 30 BUCKS a month! Definitely a rip off for the awful crap you find inside.
$29.95/month
Visit sooperhero.com then come back and tell us how awful it is!
There are so many, many things wrong with this site. Let’s start with the typical promises from the tour:
- Over 10,000 pictures!
Not even close. There are 50 photo sets with 60-100 pics each. That’s only about 4,000 photos.
- Hours of Video Scenes!
She has 23 videos for a total of about 3.5 hours of video. I suppose technically that IS hours of video scenes since it is more than just one hour, but when you say HOURS with an exclamation point I think most people expect more than just 3.
- High quality video & photo galleries
Not by today’s standards. Most of the photos are around 900×600 and the videos are all 320×240. I’m not sure if it’s a mistake, but both the ‘high quality’ and ‘low quality’ videos say they are 320×240.
- Weekly updates
Well, that was not true even back when she was still updating. There were several months with just one or no updates at all. And she stopped updating about a year and a half ago.
- FREE webcam access ~ Interact with me me live!
Her webcam page just links to the 2 cam sites where she does shows. They do offer free sign ups like most cam sites, but if you want to see her naked you have to pay. I think it’s hilarious that her profile from one of the cam sites lists her measurements as 36-24-34. Those are Denise Richards’ measurements and April is at least twice her size. If models can’t tell the truth about their measurements then they just shouldn’t list them at all. Or, at the very LEAST make them believable if they have to make them up!
Oh, and one last thing. Someone really should tell this girl that the heavy lidded, pouty “sexy face” she is going for in most of the photos doesn’t work for her. At all. I mean, not even a tiny bit. See for yourself below.
Last update: 4/29/2009
$24.90/30 days recurring
Visit apriljuggs.com then come back and tell us how awful it is!
So this guy drives around in his van picking up hookers. He offers them $20 for pictures and $20 for a blow job. After looking at the pictures I don’t even care about the frequency or number of updates. I’ll just let the awful pictures speak for themselves.
$29.95/30 days recurring
$49.95/90 days recurring
$99.95/180 days non-recurring
Visit blackvaginafinder.com then come back and tell us how awful it is!
There are only a few things that I can say about this site, mostly I will just let the images speak for themselves.
If you are a fan of frankentitties, Rhiannon, or giant fake lips, then you will probably like this site (aside from the fact that Rhiannon has not done any new sets in many years and the videos are of horrible low res quality).
If you are not a fan of frankentitties, or giant fake lips, we strongly urge you not to scroll down any more, because not only do Rhiannon’s obscenely large breasts define the term frankentitties, the site also contains many other models with equally scary breasts. I don’t know if these are plastic surgery implant disasters or if it is just impossible to make them look good when going this large. Regardless, I am having bad dreams for a while.
Price: $19.95 monthly
Click here to visit RhiannonXXX.com
“Freaky and going strong since 1996″ It looks like they haven’t changed their site design since then. The navigation is bad and there are all sorts of annoying flashy things circa the mid 90′s. Web site design has come a long way since 1996, but clearly the owners of this site want no part of it.
They make it seem like each girl has her own website when they say “get access to all the girls when you join one!”, but each girl’s “site” is just a photo gallery often with just a handful of sets. Some have decent quality photos while many are just terrible.
So, what sorts of women have “sites” inside the members area of Freak Mommas you wonder? See for yourself below.
$12.95/30 days recurring
$29.95/90 days non-recurring
$49.95/180 days non-recurring
Visit freakmommas.com then come back and tell us how awful it is! 
What would you expect of a site called Absolute Asians? Especially a site that claims to have “The largest collection of asian content anywhere.”?
I suppose you would expect a lot of Asians! Well, this site has some Asians, but mostly this is just a site with a bunch of licensed crap that has nothing to do with Asians. Please view some of the examples below and let me know if you feel any of these photos belong on an Asian themed site.
Price: $29.91 monthly
Visit AbsoluteAsians.com
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